


Fluid

by Kika988



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Questioning Sexuality
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-01
Updated: 2013-02-15
Packaged: 2017-11-27 19:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kika988/pseuds/Kika988
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After finding out about his brother's new relationship, Dean has to reevaluate his views on sexuality -- which may come in handy when Cas pops in for a visit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first SPN fic, so please be gentle -- but please let me know what you think! I welcome constructive criticism, as I am very dedicated to getting the character's voices right!

"And then we... Well, you know..." Sam cleared his throat and glanced away, embarrassed, as Dean stared at him open mouthed.

"You and... Seriously? The Trickster? Gabriel? The _archangel_ Gabriel?" Sam nodded. Dean sat back in his chair and rubbed a hand over his face. "But... man, I thought you were straight. I mean, was Jess--"

"This has nothing to do with Jess," Sam replied, jaw set. "She wasn't some.... cover-up, or whatever you're thinking. I like girls. I didn't think I was bi, I never really thought about men much at all, but it just happened. And that's ok. I mean, I'm not having an identity crisis, or anything." He shrugged. "I've always believed sexuality is fluid, why shouldn't--"

"Whoa, whoa," Dean said, holding a hand up and grimacing. He took a long swig of beer. "I'm not nearly drunk enough to listen to my little brother wax eloquent about his..." He paused, shuddering. "...sexuality. Just be careful, ok? I mean, hell, a man is one thing, but you have to go after a fucking archangel."

Sam rolled his eyes. "He came after me, for one thing. Besides, it's not like you have much room to talk." Dean's brow creased with confusion, but before he could ask for clarification, Sam was standing and stretching. "And now you know why I wanted my own room. Which I am going to go to now."

Please don't make me listen to your mad man love through the wall," Dean begged, only half teasing. He caught the pillow Sam threw at his face as his brother left. After the door closed behind him Dean stared at the wall for a few minutes before shaking himself and grabbing another beer -- he needed it after that little revelation. Sammy and Gabriel? Seriously? It sounded like something one of Chuck's fans would write online.

He was nursing his fourth beer and watching an old How I Met Your Mother rerun when he felt the slightest change in the room, almost like a static charge, that was becoming very familiar. "So did you know our brothers are bumpin' uglies?" he asked without turning around. He could almost hear Cas's head-tilt.

"I am not familiar with the phrase 'bumping uglies', but if you are referring to their sexual relations, yes, Gabriel made me aware this afternoon." The bed sank beside him as the angel sat. "I take it you find the idea distasteful?"

"I find the idea of my brother having sex with anyone 'distasteful', so yeah." He frowned over at Cas. "Is Gabriel using Sam for one of his tricks? Cause archangel or not, I will kick his ass."

"And I would help you do so," Cas assured him. "But he assured me that his intentions were... Well, far from pure, but they are true." He shrugged, an odd movement from the normally formal angel. "I believe him."

Dean leveled a measuring stare at Castiel for a moment before nodding. "If you believe him, that's good enough for me." He snorted before turning his bottle up again. "Who'd have thought, though? I mean, an _angel_." Cas tensed beside him, but Dean didn't seem to notice.

"I can understand your scorn," Cas said as he stood, "But most, I think, would say this is a step up from his last few inter-species liaisons." He paused, as if considering saying something else, but stopped, clenching his jaw instead. "I think I should go. Call if you--"

"What?" Dean said, lurching to his feet as Cas's words permeated his alcohol-soaked brain. "You're leaving? Leaving me to listen to our brothers next door humping like rabbits? Come on, man, hang out a while. You just got here."

Cas took a breath and turned back to face Dean, one eyebrow raised. "You want me to stay and listen to you malign my species, my family, in essence, myself? I appreciate your kind offer, but I must decline."

Even as Dean raced back through what he had said to make Cas think that, he also felt an absurd sense of pride at the angel's sarcasm -- not too long ago such a thing from him would have been unthinkable. "Dude, I wasn't -- what did you say, _maligning_? -- your family. If anything, I was dissing my own." He ran a hand through his hair as Cas cocked his head to one side. "Angels don't typically seem to think much of us mere mortals. You excluded. Mostly. I think." He glanced over at Castiel and shrugged. "You can't blame me for being surprised one of you guys would want to shack up with one of us. As much as you help us, even you haven't done that."

Cas's brow furrowed. "You think yourselves too unimportant to be of romantic interest to angels?" He frowned, thinking. After a moment, he sighed and nodded. "I can see where you might think that, and for most angels you are likely correct. There was a time, though, when an angel and a human could love, even have a family. You've heard of the Nephilim, children of angels and humans." He shrugged. "There have been no Nephilim in at least a thousand years, but some of us remember those days fondly -- myself and Gabriel included."

Dean was looking more and more abashed as Castiel spoke. "Now I feel like a dick. Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you all sound like a bunch of assholes... Well, ok, I guess I did. I didn't mean to lump you in with them, though. I guess I just figured that you're kind of famous for liking humans, and you still haven't fallen for one yet, so I was kind of surprised--"

"You're wrong." Dean blinked at the interruption.

"About what?"

"About whether I've fallen for a human. I've said before, every time I've fallen from grace, it was for you." Dean looked shaken for a moment, but gave a little laugh and shook his head when Cas explained himself.

"No, sorry Cas, 'fallen for' is another one of our expressions, it means--"

"Fallen in love. Yes, I know. That, too, is an accurate description of my feelings for you." He said it so matter-of-factly that it took a moment for Dean to process what he had said.

"Uh... What? Sorry, I think I got lost there somewhere," he said with a nervous laugh.

"I have romantic feelings for you," Castiel reiterated.

"And.." Dean cleared his throat and tried again. "And why has this never come up before?"

Castiel frowned. "You prefer the female form. Jimmy has left this vessel to me -- when I died and my father remade me, Jimmy moved on to heaven. I can't justify taking another life, a young woman's life, so I can have a vessel that you would be attracted to. So I just..." he shrugged, gave Dean a small smile. "I try to be helpful when I can, and content myself with your friendship. The friendship of a man like you is no small thing, Dean."

Dean was left gaping like an idiot as Cas turned his world upside down like it was a routine thing for him. It was, though, wasn't it? Cas had brought him back from Hell, taught him about heaven and angels, then turned around and rebelled against his own family on Dean's behalf. He was at once more human and more completely alien than anything Dean had ever known, and yet he was one of the few constants in the hunter's life. Looking back, Dean felt like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. Everything Cas did for them, for _him_ , it spoke of a deeper love than friendship, something that inspired as strong a loyalty as family.

Cas appeared even more uncomfortable than usual. "I should not have said anything," he said firmly. "I will leave you alone now." He was gathering his grace, ready to fly away, when Dean's hand closed firmly around his upper arm.

"Don't you dare," he growled. "Don't even think about dropping a bomb like that and then flaking off. What the hell am I supposed to do, pretend like I don't know, like this never happened?"

"That might be simplest," Cas pointed out. "Though the Winchesters are not known for doing things the easy way," he added, almost to himself.

If Dean heard the jab, it didn't bother him much; he was too busy thinking. Here was someone who had literally given him everything he had, up to and including his life. Surely Dean owed him more than a 'thanks, but no thanks'.

"I want to try," Dean heard himself saying. Surely he could do that much. Besides, Sammy claimed sexuality was fluid -- and who had more sexuality to flow than Dean Winchester? He looked up to see Castiel staring at him in shock. "I'm shit at relationships, Cas, you have to know that. And the guy thing.... Well, it'll be new. But it's you, so... I want to try."

Castiel stared at him for a long beat before he stepped forward and took one of Dean's hands. It wasn't the most they had touched, but in this new light it seemed completely different. "Is this okay?" he asked, his normally deep voice a bit rougher than usual. Dean nodded.

"Yeah," he said, his fingers tightening on Cas's. "Yeah, it's... It's actually good." His eyes fell to Cas's lips and he felt his own mouth go dry. One step at a time, he told himself firmly. But... Maybe he was more fluid than he thought.


	2. Instincts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel needs some advice.

Castiel looked around the restaurant with a raised eyebrow. It was an odd place to meet, especially for a couple of angels. He spotted Gabriel in a corner booth and headed over.

"Hey, little bro!" Gabriel called, waving him over. "Get over here and try some of this." He held up a steaming cup of thick brown liquid. Cas slid into the booth and squinted at it, momentarily distracted from his purpose in coming here.

"What is it?"

"Drinking chocolate. It's like a cup full of melted candy bars," Gabriel replied, taking another sip. "God, I love human ingenuity." Cas flinched at his brother's easy way of taking his father's name in vain, but accepted the cup and took a small sip, swallowing the thick liquid with some difficulty.

"It is delicious," he agreed, but he pushed the mug back across to his brother without trying to drink any more. He ordered a black coffee when the waitress came by, and thanked her politely when she returned with it promptly.

"Ok, so why did you call this pow-wow?" Gabriel asked as the waitress left. "Did you suddenly decide we needed some quality family bonding time?" Castiel smiled, but shook his head.

"No. I have some questions. About intercourse, mostly." Gabriel's eyes shot up toward his hairline at that.

"Not going to beat around the bush, huh?" Gabriel said, waving away Castiel's confused look at the expression. "I assume this is about the older Winchester?" he asked with a sly smile.

"Yes," Castiel confirmed. "I told him the extent of my feelings for him two weeks, three days, and roughly five hours ago, and he decided he would 'try'." He fiddled with the handle of his coffee mug in a nervous gesture that Gabriel found amusing. He must have picked up the habit from Dean.

"Feelings? Damn, little brother. You just jumped in with both feet, didn't you? About time, though. I could almost swim through the sexual tension between you two, it was getting so thick." He paused, tilted his head to the side. "But... If you're asking me about sex... You haven't done it yet?" Castiel shook his head.

"No. I have some... Concerns." Gabriel raised an eyebrow.

"About what? Insert tab A into slot B, it's not that difficult. Since you're in a male vessel you even get to decide who's the tab and who's the slot!"

"Therein lies the issue," Castiel replied, leaning in closer. "Dean has never been with a man before. I don't want to pressure him, but..." He glanced away, uncomfortable. "I know he wants things, but I fear 'freaking him out', as he would say. I am just... Unsure of how to proceed." He sounded frustrated, and was glaring at his cup of coffee as if it were to blame.

Gabriel smiled across at his brother, his usual smirk softened with a hint of true affection for his younger sibling. "This isn't a mission or field assignment, Cas. There's no rules of conduct or manual. You have to go with your gut instinct." At this, Castiel looked even more hopeless, looking up to meet Gabriel's eyes.

"Dean says I have terrible instincts." Gabriel laughed.

"He may be right -- angels aren't exactly known for following their gut, and you haven't been among the humans very long. But if you don't trust your own instincts, your only other choice is to trust his."


End file.
